we are in the city of A, most probably, no definitely. so i am anywhere between 4 and 6. we are walking back home in the dark, my father, mother and i. they do find words to talk. but there is some tension between them and after a while they are silent. so yes now they couldn't find words to talk (a la an old song).
as we walk i stumble over a rock or something. i start crying as i am in pain and i want to be picked up. as they are having a conflict they expect the other to pick me up. i become the pawn in their power struggle. neither of them picks me up as the one to do so will be the loser. so i get dragged home, weeping.
when we reach home they realize that i am, in fact, hurt, rather a lot. my right knee is bleeding profusely. my mother takes me to the bathroom and washes and dresses my knee. my father brings the medicine, the kind that smarts in the beginning but is very effective. they feel ashamed at having neglected me so in their struggle for victory, or at least that is how i imagine it since they were decent people, after all.
i feel a strange sense of vindication. i had been right to cry, i was genuinely hurt. i was not just clamoring for attention, without reason. the wound justifies my crying. i take a little pleasure that my mom feels bad now for not having picked me up when i was asking her to.
inner child work
i am walking beside my inner child. i am holding her hand and chatting with her as we walk in the dark together. i tell her to watch her step, since it is dark and the road is uneven. i ask her if she would like to be picked up. she says no.
after a while she trips and she falls. i am instantly near her and console her. i hold her and reassure her that it is okay to cry, as she might be feeling scared and/or hurt. i hold her close to me, soothing her and quieting her.
when she seems a little calmer i check her for bruises and discover the wound at the knee. i find a piece of cloth to tie as a bandage, then i pick her up and carry her home. all the way back i talk to her and ask her to tell me how she is feeling. she feels cared for and comforted. she apologizes for not letting me pick her up earlier that way she might have avoided the fall altogether. i tell her she could not have known that she would fall so there is nothing to apologize for. it is not shameful to fall down or get hurt, it is a part of growing up and we just need to feel the feeling, let it pass and then to get up and move on, as she has done. she smiles at that.
i know then that even though she got hurt physically she felt nurtured emotionally and so did not suffer more psychologically. she thanks me for carrying her back. i am grateful to her for letting me do that and i hold her close and tell her how precious she is to me.
as we walk i stumble over a rock or something. i start crying as i am in pain and i want to be picked up. as they are having a conflict they expect the other to pick me up. i become the pawn in their power struggle. neither of them picks me up as the one to do so will be the loser. so i get dragged home, weeping.
when we reach home they realize that i am, in fact, hurt, rather a lot. my right knee is bleeding profusely. my mother takes me to the bathroom and washes and dresses my knee. my father brings the medicine, the kind that smarts in the beginning but is very effective. they feel ashamed at having neglected me so in their struggle for victory, or at least that is how i imagine it since they were decent people, after all.
i feel a strange sense of vindication. i had been right to cry, i was genuinely hurt. i was not just clamoring for attention, without reason. the wound justifies my crying. i take a little pleasure that my mom feels bad now for not having picked me up when i was asking her to.
inner child work
i am walking beside my inner child. i am holding her hand and chatting with her as we walk in the dark together. i tell her to watch her step, since it is dark and the road is uneven. i ask her if she would like to be picked up. she says no.
after a while she trips and she falls. i am instantly near her and console her. i hold her and reassure her that it is okay to cry, as she might be feeling scared and/or hurt. i hold her close to me, soothing her and quieting her.
when she seems a little calmer i check her for bruises and discover the wound at the knee. i find a piece of cloth to tie as a bandage, then i pick her up and carry her home. all the way back i talk to her and ask her to tell me how she is feeling. she feels cared for and comforted. she apologizes for not letting me pick her up earlier that way she might have avoided the fall altogether. i tell her she could not have known that she would fall so there is nothing to apologize for. it is not shameful to fall down or get hurt, it is a part of growing up and we just need to feel the feeling, let it pass and then to get up and move on, as she has done. she smiles at that.
i know then that even though she got hurt physically she felt nurtured emotionally and so did not suffer more psychologically. she thanks me for carrying her back. i am grateful to her for letting me do that and i hold her close and tell her how precious she is to me.
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