Sunday, June 30, 2013

the house on mango street

just read "the house on mango street" and it has inspired me to blog my memories. currently working on a painting all in blue, a continuation of my mandala series, this one will deal with the inner child and healing.

an ice-cream cone.

sitting in the movie theater with my parents watching a movie, some typical Indian Bollywood masala film. post intermission i have an ice-cream cone in my hand filled with softie ice-cream. this is a rare treat, i have never had an ice-cream cone before. i have had ice-cream of course, on sticks, my favorite being choco-bar.
i enjoy my ice-cream cone even while watching the movie in a mesmerized state. i dig in to the cone with my little tongue, deeper and deeper as far as i can go. finally i cannot reach any deeper and in frustration i throw the cone away. a few minutes later my mom asks me what happened to my ice-cream. i tell her i finished it and i point to the cone on the ground a few seats away. she shakes her head and tells me the cone is edible too. 'now she tells me' i think 'well too late'. but for the rest of the film i watch the cone from the corner of my eye half wishing i could pick it up again. but i don't, more because if mom notices me eating the cone from off the ground she would definitely scold me.
now as i recount the tale i feel more ashamed about the unabashed littering i did back then. not my fault that is what everyone around me did, back then. yet there is a wistfulness for the uneaten cone and the little girl's ignorance.

a piece of inner child work
little girl i see you now. it is not your fault that you wasted the cone. you did not know that it was edible. you had no previous experience with it. i understand that you are sad that you got a rare treat but could not enjoy it fully. your parents ought to have told you before you threw the cone away that you could eat that as well. i understand too that you feel you cannot be mad at them because they gave you the cone in the first place. i understand your conflict in wanting to pick up the cone and eat it to find out what that hard cover shell might taste like. you were intrigued, how can cardboard be edible? sweet little girl, enjoy your movie. you will have plenty of chances to eat all kinds of ice-cream cones and there will even come a time when you will prefer to eat green vegetables like broccoli rather than ice-cream!